Disappoinment

Past few weeks i havent been the normal person . Although in the outside i'm still happy , smiling and laughing , inside of me there is something which is bothering me a lot. Today i am going to share what it is about.


I was part of the Mosque Youth group for several years. It's been 4years since i first joined the group. I was an active member when i first joined because the Mosque was very near to my house. I was living at Redhill at that time and it was just a 2min walk to the Mosque , it was also just a 5min walk to my school Henderson Secondary. So everyday after school i would visit the Mosque to complete my prayers. Soon after that i was the first member of the newly formed youth group and i was asking my other friends to join. Each friday we would gather in a meeting room after the prayers and would do some basic religious studies , after that we would have our lunch and go to Gan Eng Seng Secondary school field to play soccer.

With these members we formed a soccer team. For 1.5 years i didnt miss any training sessions and was always at the mosque whenever i got the time. Soon many members started to join and our youth group was keep expanding.

But than , our family had to move to Malaysia . Since i was 4 i have been living in Singapore and going to Malaysia was a very tough decision for me and my family to make. However we had to do it because , we found Malaysia a better place to live in was a better opportunity to invest in houses. For $800,000 in Singapore we can only get a 4-room house but for the same amount we can have our own landed property in Malaysia.

So we moved there and the first year was a struggle as it was hard to adapt. I had to go back home after prayers on Friday and if i went for my training sessions at 5pm i have to be stuck in the traffic jam in the causeway . So i couldnt go for training sessions. But i still took the effort to attend some training sessions, lets say 40% of the training sessions.

And while this there was this Mosque Youth award , to commemorate all the youths who have been involved in the Mosque. I was involve in the Mosque for 3years at that time and i didnt get the Certificate . All the others got it , but i didnt.

I did huge sacrifices other than attending training , by helping to clean the Mosque , coming all the way from Malaysia , and i thought my hardwork went to waste. But in my heart i remembered , '' Haiya this is just a certificate , i do this for the sake of god , not to get any form of reward'' . So i let the matter rest.

However this time the heartbreak was abit more severe.


I played at the soccer team for 4 years and participated in more than 10 tournaments . Each time we would go and be defeated in the first/second. There was twice we were defeated in the Semi-finals. This time another tournament we want to become Champions and it was our target.

We reached our target , we won . Out of 6 matches i could only play 2 full matches , the other 4 i couldnt because some were during exam period and others were while i wasn't feeling well. I played to my best , coming down from JB to the place on time , giving my best shot . Being a defender , trying to stop all attacks and gave my very best.

So after we became Champions all of my team-mates got the medal. Those who didnt play any matches , and some played just 1 got the medal . But me who played 2 matches didnt get the medal . So i asked for my medal .


The reason i wasnt given the medal was because that i didnt attend the training sessions and wasnt an active member.


I explained my situation long ago , all of them there knew im coming from Malaysia. When i told that i couldnt come for training they said they understand but in the end i dont get what i deserved.


If i didnt play at all , or just was at the reserves and wasnt given the medal i can understand. But i gave my best , even got some injuries along the way . To not get what i deserve even though i put in the effort and hardwork hurts me alot.


However in life , there will be alot of unexpected stuff like this. Even though you put in alot of effort you dont get what you deserve. I will take this as a lesson to be stronger and dont expect too much from anything. You may think that just a medal it isnt much , and i must play for the sake of the team and not for medals . I agree. But we play hard to win , and when you win you gotta get something and when you dont thats one of the major disappointment.


So thats what have been bothering me , however i still will continue to help the mosque whenever i can .


Behind everything there's a reason , this time i dont know the reason but i know it all happens for the a good reason.


Thanks for reading.